Loving, smoking, and drinking

V left my place not too long ago to go to work. The grim reality that I will not see her until some time next week settles upon me. Reality sucks.

I wish I had an ashtray with a cigarette burning in it sitting beside me. Any kind of emotional low triggers the craving. Maybe, I am suffering some undetected or unidentified emotional low right now. Would knowing the cause of this craving help me prevent it in the future? I doubt it. My body is a lump of weak flesh. My brain chemistry will have to adjust itself in the basement without conscious help from upstairs.

I left my briefcase at the bar again last night. I will do that once too often and eventually lose it. I hope it isn’t today. I spend too many mornings wondering where I lost things the night before or how I broke something. The drinking life comes with all kinds of costs. Oh well, as I tell my friends at the bar while avoiding talking about my problems: I drink to forget.

Damn, this coffee sure would go well with a cigarette.

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Published in: on May 22, 2008 at 9:27 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I miss you.


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