Quitting smoking: volume II

I’m well into my smoking routine again. I am going to give quitting another shot today after I finish the pack sitting beside the computer and coffee. It felt really good for a few weeks not being a two pack a day smoker. V was proud of me. That counted for a lot.

If I could smoke in moderation as some people can, I would not think about quitting. My addictions are never in moderation. Naturally, I started smoking again one night when I had been drinking quite heavily. One cigarette always leads to a two pack a day habit with me. I tried to hide it from everyone–an impossible venture.

Today is maybe not the best day to try because I am more melancholy than I have been in many years. Actually, I am seriously depressed. However, I also feel in dire need of regaining some self esteem. Quitting smoking is such a hard motherfucker. If I can do it again, that ought to make a good start with the self esteem I desperately crave.

The one thing about quitting smoking is that the only thing on my mind for about a week are cigarettes. I never thought that would be a good thing, but now it seems a blessing. 🙂

Published in: on June 26, 2008 at 10:00 am  Comments (1)  

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  1. Cravings will pass. You CAN make it through the quitting phase. It’s your choice, and your life! Congratulations on your decision to quit smoking. Take faith in the fact that so many people out there have managed to quit! I just celebrated five years without smoking…it’s wonderful. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it can be done. After the first 6 months or so, the discomfort and agony began to become history…I smoked 3 packs or more for over 30 years. If I can quit – YOU CAN!

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