Attraction, objectivity, and today’s lunch

Let’s call her X1, one of the women I know. I met her for a quick lunch today at Starbuck’s. (I drank a large coffee and ate a slice of pumpkin bread.) She really likes me, and I like her, but I don’t find her sexually attractive, although there is nothing specific I can identify why that is so. I could very easily sleep with her, but I am sure she would misinterpret my feelings. Sex is not worth it if I will frequently come into contact with her when she wants a romance I care nothing about.

Then there this other woman, a woman totally forbidden to me, whom I absolutely adore. She feels the same way about me. Things seem so unfair.

But what are the facts? How can I report without making inferences and judgments that may not be justified? I fall into the trap of a false romanticism all the time. What I can have does not interest me. What I cannot have intrigues me.

This all seems to fit with my recent loss of objectivity. I cannot make a simple report of the facts.

For instance, I should say: X1 ate a turkey sandwich at lunch; she talked about the TV shows she watches; she told me she is afraid of losing her job; her hair is red; her eyes are blue.; she touched my arm several times when she was speaking to me.

The solid fact remains, however. I am not attracted to her.

Published in: on January 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm  Leave a Comment  

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