Worked on this week’s fantasy football lineup after I woke this morning.  Then ordered the latest Murakami novel, 1Q84, and downloaded it to the Kindle.  After reading the first couple of pages, it seems like precisely the right thing to have done just before sunrise.

Published in: on October 25, 2011 at 8:00 am  Leave a Comment  

Desire or lack thereof

So fucking awesomely bored–maybe, that’s why I spend 10 to 12 hours each day writing a stupid geometry book. (And you’ve to get up early in the morning to do that.)

But I like it. At one point in my dismal life, it was a dream.

Fantasy 2011

I have been busy the past week with two fantasy baseball drafts and their aftermaths.  I am happy with both drafts for the most part.  I plugged holes on one of my teams at relief pitching and infield depth by picking up a couple of guys off of waivers–a nice plus.  Now, I must keep an eye on injuries during Spring Training.

The fantasies of March often yield to sobering realities of fall, not just with baseball, but also for things in general.  However, things tend to even out and one must be thankful for that.

Published in: on March 4, 2011 at 10:24 am  Leave a Comment  

Merry Christmas

I made it to Iowa for Christmas.  The snow made the drive slower and more tedious than expected.

OK, time to celebrate.  I hope you and yours are having a wonderful holiday season.

Published in: on December 25, 2010 at 11:15 am  Comments (1)  

The Real End of Summer

Fantasy baseball season ended with regular season baseball today. I know what you are thinking. Hey, State Street, how did you do in your fantasy baseball leagues this summer? I won one of them and finished 10 out of 12 in one of them.

Ten out of twelve, that’s exactly how I’ll remember this fantasy baseball season.

And this is what I have to say about it all: finger fuck. I’m a glass half empty kind of guy.

Published in: on October 3, 2010 at 10:48 pm  Leave a Comment  

Another enchanted wood

Sunday, summer drifting by; dreaming too and drinking summer’s sweet wine: never wake me.

Published in: on July 18, 2010 at 1:19 pm  Leave a Comment  

Postcard from the ghosts

Lingering light on an overcast night.  Eerily silent, even for downtown Chicago on a Sunday night, and this is 4 Jul 10.

Ghosts appear and fade away.

Published in: on July 4, 2010 at 8:51 pm  Leave a Comment  

Thinking yourself into delusion

I think I have finally got it.  It is not about belief, but the suspension of belief.

Published in: on April 15, 2010 at 7:45 pm  Leave a Comment  

The sun shines on the materialist

Each morning in my place, I look out at the narrow space through the canyon of tall buildings carved by the street called Delaware Place.  In the morning, the sun during its transit above the lake shines briefly and directly down the street and into where I sit at this computer.  On clear warm mornings such as this, the light blinds me.  I never look behind me to see if the light casts my shadow on the wall.  Sometimes, it feels as though it does; on others, it feels as though I am transparent–no shadow at all.

I’ll never check.  Even hardened materialists need some illusions.

Published in: on April 13, 2010 at 11:07 pm  Leave a Comment  

Party of eight

My dinner party of eight: Odysseus, Cicero, St. Thomas Aquinas, Rene Descartes, David Hume, Karl Marx, Emily Dickinson, and me. We’ll dine in a private room at an exquisite restaurant. I hope they bring their thinking caps and their drinking shoes too because I plan to be dazzling even through my boozy haze.

Published in: on March 2, 2010 at 11:42 pm  Leave a Comment  

Rock me gently

This is the way it has happened for years when I can’t fall asleep upon going to bed.  I think about waking in the morning and writing words lyrical, rhythmic, melodic, harmonious, and exquisitely complex, the complexity of the language creating new ideas through its metaphors, like a wonderful symphony.

The only thing that works as well is pretending I am on a boat, floating in a placid sea, looking up at the moon and stars, the sea rocking me gently until I fall into oblivion.

Published in: on March 2, 2010 at 11:12 pm  Leave a Comment  

Until smitten again

Sitting alone in the bar. Playing chess on the Internet. He’s addicted to that game again.

What his neuronal system tells him is fuck love, or life for that matter. Leave me alone with my addictions.

He suspects things will go that way until he is smitten again.

Published in: on March 1, 2010 at 9:34 pm  Leave a Comment  

On the other side of life

I’m meditating on reality today while drifting and dreaming. Teasing all those activities apart grows tedious at times, turns into dirty work actually, but somebody has to do it, and I did volunteer. See you on down the road. You know–on the other side of life.

Published in: on January 17, 2010 at 1:07 pm  Leave a Comment  

EPL fantasy update

It’s 2010 and we know what that means.  It’s time to make a run at my English Premier League fantasy league championship.  I’m moving up in the standings after a mediocre start.  The wheels are back on the train and the train is back on the tracks.

And most importantly, I’m totally stoked.

Published in: on January 4, 2010 at 12:23 pm  Leave a Comment  

If on a winter night

I’ve decided to read again Calvino’s If on a winter’s night a traveler. It makes me think about reincarnation and that life when everything turns out exactly right.

Published in: on January 2, 2010 at 12:28 am  Leave a Comment  

The real New Year

You are drinking coffee and eating apple pies from McDonald’s. You feel you shouldn’t be doing it at 11 at night–the coffee that is. But it is so good, it makes you think, in the words of Elizabeth Bishop, God loves us all.

Published in: on January 2, 2010 at 12:12 am  Leave a Comment  


You should have two copies of your favorite books: a hardback copy, substantial, that you hold in your lap when you read at home, and a paperback copy you carry around with you on occasion to flout one of your personae–not caring what gets spilt upon it.

When you get caught in the rain with your book exposed, you’ll be happy.  You’ll swipe the paperback book across the leg of your blue jeans and transfer the water like you transfer the day’s persona to some object of no consequence.

Published in: on November 30, 2009 at 12:29 pm  Leave a Comment  

Numbers and arithmetic …

Something you can play with while pretending you are doing something meaningful.  Let’s call them toys.

Published in: on September 30, 2009 at 11:41 am  Leave a Comment  

A long long time

During the past two weeks I watched the whole of Battlestar Galactica again.  It aroused deep emotions.  For reasons lacking explanation, each episode reminded me what it is like to spend an eternity without V.

Published in: on September 27, 2009 at 9:33 am  Leave a Comment  

Let’s pretend

That guy asked me if you were my boyfriend.  I told him yes.

That’s a game I can easily play.  Being her pretend boyfriend is better than nothing.

Published in: on September 18, 2009 at 10:46 am  Leave a Comment  

Do what you want, but before you start, meditate on whether you can do it

I went to Starbuck’s this morning with a math notebook in hand.  My intent was to work on some elementary notions and results regarding elliptic curves.  As I drank my coffee at the bar and stared out the window running along State Street (and isn’t math  like the rest of life–a lot of staring into space?), I fixed upon the conceptual outline and style of the geometry book I have been writing.  It fits with what I can actually do when writing a geometry book.  Wow, how did I ever come up with that idea!

And with that, I decided what I want to do with a significant portion of the rest of my life.  I’d tell you, but it’s a secret until I actually do some of it.

Published in: on August 27, 2009 at 1:04 pm  Leave a Comment  

Cubs baseball and the Riemann Hypothesis

This is the time of summer when hopes fade.  Such is the case with my beloved(?) Chicago Cubs.  They are playing bad baseball again, especially closer Kevin Gregg who almost single handed is taking them out of contention with one blown save piled on another.

All an old man such as I can do is begin to accept the fact that he will never see a Cubs World Series winner.  Oh well, I’ll never resolve the Riemann Hypothesis either.  Both seem equally out of reach.

Published in: on August 18, 2009 at 1:39 pm  Leave a Comment  

Romance and imagination

While working on the lastest draft of my novel this morning, I realized it is a romance novel. All my novels turn out that way. I wonder if this is some kind of failure of imagination.

Published in: on August 12, 2009 at 2:43 pm  Leave a Comment  

Destiny and evolution

Whoever they are, we have been playing a long game of chess against each other.  We are at endgame with my four pawns versus his one pawn.  My pawns stretch across the board so that his king cannot possibly defend against me promoting one of them to a queen.  His lone pawn cannot possibly bypass mine for promotion.

I tend not to think about my chess games too much these days.  They happen.  They end as wins, losses, or draws.  However, each game is a unique evolution of calculation, tactics, strategies, applications of rules of thumb, and decisions I cannot fully justify except for admitting time constraints forced a move upon me.  No matter how a game ends, it seems a strange odyssey.

These chess games feel like the evolution of my ideas and the metaphors I use to express and make sense of them.  I am often tempted to do some archaeology on my ideas and arguments, but I never arrive at a feasible endgame that does not require more decisions, thus more pressing concerns.  The present trumps the past.

Desire, fantasy, and calculation compete and create an evolution that feels as though an infinite process occurs even though all too soon the game will be over, rendering archaeology impossible.  Sometimes meaning feels like a road traveled rather than a destination.  Destiny is not a goal but a journey.

Published in: on August 1, 2009 at 10:26 am  Comments (2)  

Romance–when no holds were barred

One sure way to to burn daylight early in the morning is by studying historical baseball numbers.  Take the Chicago Cubs for instance.  From 1906 through 1910 they won 99 or more games each season, they won 4 NL titles, finished second once, and they won two World Series.  Their 1906 record of 116 wins and only 36 losses stands as the best winning percentage of all time.  Too bad they lost to the Chicago White Sox “Hitless Wonders” four games to one in the World Series that year.  After those five years, they did not tail off much as they finished second twice, third once, and fourth once in the NL.

Back then, they were not known as the lovable Cubbies as they are today.  They played as mean and hard as any team.  They retaliated in kind no matter how roughly they were treated.  Their player/manager Frank Chance was once called the best amateur barroom brawler in America.  That must have been a sight to behold given the belligerent no-holds barred era he played in.

The Cubs return home to Wrigley to play the Reds at 1:20 this afternoon.  On July 24, 2008, the Cubs beat beat Brooklyn 2-1 in Brooklyn.  Jack Pfiester got the win.  The Cubs and Giants were one game back of the Pirates in the standings at the end of the day.  The Cubs won the pennant that year over the Giants and Pirates.  The regular season ended with the Cubs playing the Giants in the last regular season game to make up the Merkle Boner game.  The Cubs beat Detroit in the World Series four games to one.

All manner of romances populate our imaginations.  We love souls, places, and times to name a few.  One needn’t find another soul when a beloved has forsaken us.  Substitutes abound.  If we want romance, we should get ourselves to places where desire, fantasy, and reality can scarcely be teased apart.  Wander.

Published in: on July 24, 2009 at 10:03 am  Leave a Comment